Some people know what they want to do with their lives from quite early on, some find out through a series of trial and error, and some may never truly know. For me? This path wasn’t laid out neatly infront of me – it was weathered into being, shaped by life’s storms and softened by grace. Here’s a bit about why I became a counsellor, and why now.

Many years ago when I was 15 years old, I was put into an all day detention which meant I had to stay with the on-duty teacher for an entire day. The teacher in question happened to be my maths teacher, Mr J, who was a very short and very angry man that was (understandably) feared by most. Luckily for me, we’d recently struck up an unlikely bond when he’d found out more about my complicated home life. For this all day detention, instead of sitting in silence, he made us a cup of tea with biscuits and we… talked. Our student and teacher status briefly suspended, he shared parts of his life; what lead to the drastic change of lorry driver to maths teacher, his relationship with his parents and why he’s so angry. I shared parts of mine, and for what felt like the first time, I felt genuinely heard by an adult that I respected, and they respected me in return. When it was time to leave, he said “you would make a bloody good therapist one day” – and here I am!

Okay okay, it wasn’t quite that simple, the next few years were quite turbulent and I had a hard time managing it all. However, thinking back to that time, I can’t help but feel deeply grateful to my younger self because she never gave up on us, she kept on doing the best she could with what she had, and gradually (really gradually) things got better. Sure, the past 12 years since then haven’t always been smooth sailing, but one thing that has remained for me through the dark times and light, is counselling. I would not be who I am, or where I am, without it. My first experience of counselling was at 11 years old with CAMHS, just after I had moved into long-term foster care. Then, in my late-teens-early-twenties with Off The Record, and I’ve been with my current counsellor for over five years. So I have plenty of hours under my belt as a client, and from my experience I can say that at it’s most powerful, counselling can be profoundly transformative – but at it’s very heart it’s a space where you’re safe to simply be, and met with compassion, not judgement. It sounds too simple doesn’t it? I suppose it is in a way, and yet all too often the counselling room is the first time many of us really experience safety and unconditional acceptance, the power of which cannot be underestimated.

As my feet started to find itself on more stable ground in life, the words of Mr J would echo in my mind. Would I be a good counsellor? Did I want to be counsellor? Could I be a counsellor? Every year I would research career pathways, course providers, student finance, go to apply and…and… I couldn’t do it. Unlike Mr J, I didn’t believe in myself enough yet. But with more time and – you guessed it – counselling, I applied to begin the life-altering journey that is counselling training (more on that later) and haven’t looked back since. That was four years ago, and as I make my way through my final year to become a qualified counsellor I can’t help but think, I’m so glad I was put in detention 15 years ago.